Let's Talk - Growing Up

 Well hi there, long time no blog post! One of my goals of the new year had been to blog more often this year but alas, here we are now almost at the end of March and this post will mark only the second one of the year😄 I wanted to kick things off with one of my classic 'Let's Talk' posts and the topic of this has been something that's been on my mind a lot this year so lets just dive right in to it!

Something I've been struggling with lately has been the whole idea/thought of growing older. Not too long ago, I had a little gathering with my friends at her house - a house she's recently just bought and moved into with her boyfriend and their puppy. As I was sitting around with a group of people who I've known for over ten years now, I realised that, in many ways, they had all of a sudden grown up. Two of my friends are engaged and planning weddings, one's moved into an actual house, another has moved over five hours away for an amazing job opportunity, two other's have moved into flats with their significant other's, one's even about to have their first baby!

And I still feel like I'm in about the same position I've been in since high school. Apart from now I've got an "actual adult job". But I'm still living at home with my parents and still hoping to find that special someone despite the fact that in order to do that I'd actually need to actively go out and try which I just don't know how to do and I'm too scared to even try dating apps. I just couldn't believe that it felt as though one minute we were all teenagers still into the same kinds of things and carrying on like big kids and now all of a sudden things feel different and more grown up and I feel like I don't know how to be an actual grown up.

Logically I know that this is all a natural feeling and that everyone at some point has probably felt this way. I'm only 23, still young, still got a lot of growing to do. It can just feel like a lot when things just seem to change in the blink of an eye. I feel this is more down to the fact that when we were teenagers, my friends and I were all growing up together and spent almost every day together so any changes wouldn't have been as noticeable whereas now that we're in our 20s, things in life have shifted a bit and we aren't able to be together as often which means any changes seem so sudden and strange.

I keep thinking back to the days when I was much younger and would play out in the street with my brother on bikes and rollerblades or we'd be inside building lego all day or playing our silly games and it all just fully hit me that those things wont ever happen again. I know that looking to the past is a pointless thing because you can never go back - you can just appreciate how the moments made you feel and think back with fondness but there's no point in dwelling in it all. I'm such a sentimental person and I do hold onto things from the past (which is why I have scrapbooks, memory boxes and a cupboard full of stuff I'll probably never use again but can't bring myself to throw out😄)

Everyone moves through life at their own pace and I think it's important to always keep this in mind and stop comparing my life journey to others because although lots of my friends have all started planning for their futures, I have other friends who are still at university figuring out what they want to do and I've still got friends who, like me, are living at home with their parents still. Everyone's life journey is different and what's the best thing for one person at a certain time/age might not be the best for another.

Growing up can be scary and challenging - you get so used to life one way and then all of a sudden you have to adjust to a whole new way and new levels of independence. It can feel like a lot to take on at the one time. But I'm going to keep on going, one day at a time, and maybe one day I'll feel deeply that I'm in the right stage at the right time.

Bye for now, xo