Let's Talk - Being A Nervous Driver

A couple of years ago, I wrote a post about my feelings with regards to driving as I had not long passed my test at the time. Now, over two years on, I wanted to give an update on how I'm doing. I also wanted to highlight certain feelings I had which I had never expected to feel after passing my test just incase there are others who feel/have felt the same.

When I first passed my driving test, I assumed that I would just automatically be comfortable with driving anywhere and everywhere without even thinking about it. However, this didn't turn out to be the case. The first few times I was out driving in my car, a number of little things happened that left me feeling nervous about driving, especially driving to new places where I wasn't as familiar with the roads. 

My dad was also with me in the car the first few times driving after passing my test - looking back now, this perhaps wasn't great as my dad is a nervous passenger which didn't help me to feel relaxed when driving. Having him in the car also made me feel self-conscious about my driving abilities which then led me to making numerous little mistakes (something every new driver experiences; something I didn't fully think of at the time) which all came together to make my confidence in driving plummet. This wasn't my dads fault in any way, it was completely understandable for him to feel anxious about me driving when I had just passed and I'm sure I would have made little mistakes regardless of whether he was with me or not - in fact, in. retrospect, it was probably a good thing he was with me as he could help me/give me some advice on what to do in the future when driving. What neither of us had really considered was the fact that my driving lessons had only ever taken me on the same roads which meant that I was really only used to driving on those familiar roads - "safe" roads - and the nerves began to kick in whenever I was driving on unfamiliar roads.

I was initially overjoyed to have passed my test (especially as I had been anticipating a fail about halfway through my test😄). I was so excited about having that freedom to go anywhere and not have to rely on anyone for lifts. However, since my initial driving confidence plummeted so soon after passing, I quickly fell into the habit of only driving when absolutely necessary and only to places I was familiar with. I found myself trying to get lifts from friends whenever going places - justifying this by telling myself that we didn't want too many drivers and that it was easier to just travel together. This meant that in my first year of driving I really didn't drive a whole lot. This wasn't great because the more you drive, the more comfortable you'll feel about it and the more your confidence in driving will grow. Since I did the opposite, I had ended up turning driving into a negative problem in my mind and, as with most things that make me feel nervous/stressed, I avoided it.

My attitudes to driving began to change at the beginning of 2019. For my university placement that year, I had been placed to a school that was about a 20 minute drive away from my house in an area that I wasn't at all familiar with. Realising that there would be no way I could avoid driving there, I knew I had to just tackle it head on. I went out on multiple practice drives to the school. The first one was done at night in the dark - I'm also not keen about driving in the dark😄 - and so I felt like I really had no clue where I was actually going and could barely pay attention to where I was because I was so focused on following where my dad told me to go and when to turn. However, after doing this drive a couple of times with my parents, I decided to just take my brother who had never been which meant that I couldn't rely on anyone other than myself to get there. After successfully completing the drive I realised that it was actually okay. On my first day of placement, I had been more nervous about the driving there all by myself that I didn't even have the time to stress about actually being on placement😄. I had been worried about driving at peak  travel times and going down back roads in the winter but the drive went well and over my time at that school, it became one of my favourite routes and I really missed it this year when I was in a school that was less than a five minute drive from my house😄.

Over that year, I started to slowly build up my driving confidence by deciding to drive more and go to more places. I'm so glad I did because it meant that I began to feel comfortable driving to my favourite places like the garden centres and to Costa. A few weeks ago, I managed to drive to a place that I had never been confident enough to drive to before (due to a motorway and confusing roundabouts) and it was a place that I had been putting off driving too, but I did it and it went so much better than I had thought it was going to. I feel that part of the reason it went well was because I'd gone at a time I knew the roads would be quieter and also because I'd taken my brother (my own little cheerleader) along with me. I'd also felt less nervous about the drive than I thought I was going to be. Before we went, I was feeling so nervous and slightly panicky about it - two feelings you definitely don't want to be having right before driving to somewhere you haven't driven before. But as soon as I was actually in the car and driving, I actually felt fine overall - almost relaxed😄.

Another instance of doing something I wouldn't have felt able to do before was just going on a drive with my friend and seeing where the road took us. It was quite cool and felt like a mini road trip (although I did stick to back roads/country roads, avoiding all the main ones and motorways, but hey it still counts and I'm still proud of myself for doing it. I also went to get my car MOT'ed recently and took my dad along with me and he also commented on  how much more at ease I seemed and how much better I was doing.  The more I get out and go to places, the more comfortable with driving I feel - it's working up that initial confidence to just get out and drive that can sometimes be the problem.

Driving is something that many people are absolutely fine with when they know how to drive. To many people driving comes naturally, they don't even really think about it. But I think that many people assume that as soon as they learn to drive, they'll feel completely comfortable to go absolutely anywhere and everywhere (that's what I had thought at least). However for others, much like myself, driving can be a very nerve-wracking experience but those feelings, too, are completely normal; I just don't think they're spoken about as much. 

Although I'm better with driving than I used to be, I'm still not completely 100% at ease with it. There are still so many places that I've yet to work up the courage to drive to but that's okay too. I've learned to just go at my own pace with driving and I'm still trying to expand my "comfort routes". I also need to keep reminding myself that I've only been driving for just over two years which, in the grand scheme of things, really isn't that long.

I actually do enjoy driving now and I'm going to continue trying to further build my driving confidence and hopefully become even less nervous about it all over time.

Bye for now, xo